Privacy: Oh, How I Miss Thee

Photo Credit: Chris James White Photography 

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I promised here to spill the beans.  To tell the truth about living abroad.  Even if it’s uncomfortable.  Especially when it’s uncomfortable. Otherwise, there’s not much point writing.

Truth is that though I’m feeling much more settled here, I continue struggling with certain aspects of expat life.  

Problem: I’m a very private, introverted person living in a fairly extroverted environment with no privacy. 

Don’t laugh. I AM private!  I know, I know: I write a blog, promising to tell all. How can I be private, right?  You’ll just have to trust me on this one.  

I guess I want privacy on my own terms.  Not too crazy, I suppose.

Thing is, I don’t get privacy. I certainly don’t get it on my own terms.

There is no anonymity here; I stick out like a big, white Michelin girl and am reminded of my existence most of the time: and I don’t like being stared at (but I am MUCH better about letting it not bother me quite the same anymore).  

My daughter really hates being stared at and especially loathes being touched by random strangers.  (That’s a post for another time.) 

So the whole idea of privacy is…well…completely drowned in all this monsoon rain.

What kind of privacy I’m talking about?  I’m talking about being ALONE.

Alone in the house without anyone around at all. No husband. No kid. Just me.  A book.  Paint.  A pen.  The computer. A movie (or three).  Whatever. A day – shoot, I’ll take a couple hours – of no interruptions. Phone turned off. No visitors. No talking.

Ohhh, I lovvveeee days like that.  And I yearn – yes, yearrrrrnnnn – for them.  (Did I make that dramatic enough?)

Sound like your idea of hell?                                 It’s my sweet jasmine heaven.

Most important, it’s a necessity for me:

Hello. (((Wave)))  My name is Becky. And I’m an introvert.

Problem: being an introvert here is challenging.  In fact, according to Culture Shock! A Survival Guide to Customs and Etiquette: Myanmar by Saw Myat Yin, there is no word in Burmese/Myanmar language for privacy (pg94).

Privacy isn’t an option.  At all.  There’s always a guard (or two) or driver or housekeeper around.  There will always, always, always be at least one guard. Always.  And the guard has a lovely view into our main living area.  And he watches.

Clearly, I need more curtains…

…because it drives me bananas!! (And if you know me, I fiercely HATE bananas!)

I’ve had privacy – complete alone time – once since March.    

When I started spending more and more time locked-up in my bedroom (literally) during the day (I don’t think this is uncommon. At least three other expat women confessed they’ve done/do the same thing), I figured it was time to ask the Husband if I could please go to Bangkok for a long weekend on my own.  Thankfully, the Husband is a total introvert – borders on hermit – and totally gets this need for alone time. 

Off I went to BKK. Oh. My. God. I was in heaven!

Thing is, I’m starting to spend more and more time in my bedroom again.  Daughter at school. Husband at work (or out of the country) and I just want desperately to watch a movie without someone seeing what I’m watching. 

I want to search for that shirt while in my bra without anyone seeing me. I want to write, no make-up on, looking like a bum, without six guys showing up unannounced to fix some broken thing. 

I don’t want people to know so much about me. What I eat. When I eat. Which DVDs I watch (or the unhealthy number I watch).  I don’t want at least three people (not family!) knowing when I’m on my period (because they see the trash and rifle through it!) or that I sometimes miss the garbage can when I throw a used Qtip away. 

I think you get the point. 

Adjusting, adjusting. 

Besides buying more curtains, though, I'm not exactly sure what I can do to adjust better.

I don't remember reading anything in those expat books about how to deal with this.

So, dear readers, what would you do? 
Any advice for the privacy deprived girl over here?