Seaweed

Yum! Yum! Pizza Seaweed! (sarcasm)

On the way to school this morning, I was pretty sure we had a breakthrough.  

      “When we go back home, can we bring seaweed?” my daughter asked. This is it, I thought. She’s completely adjusting to life here now.  She’s going to want seaweed for lunch in America. Yes!

      “Sure! We can take seaweed back,” I replied excitedly. 

      “Two boxes?  Pizza flavored?” she asked. (Yes, there is pizza flavored seaweed. It’s all the rage.)

      “No problem.”

      “YAY!” F exclaimed when I agreed we could take five boxes of seaweed. Puhhlleeez, I will buy stock in pizza seaweed if I need to, as long as this means she’s totally assimilating to life in Yangon, I told myself. 

I felt so excited. All the kids here have seaweed at lunch and now she wants it back in the States! I resisted telling her one of my best friends, E, who lives in Oregon, already buys seaweed for her boys. Pretty sure F would’ve wanted to board a plane RIGHT THEN to go home.  So I stayed quiet.  

      “…Mom.  When is it five years?”  Shiiiit, I thought.  My daughter knows we may live in Myanmar for up to five years. 

      “A long time, sweetie,” I answered softly.  Silence. 

      “I think five years is a bad idea, Mom.” What could I say?  Be honest? Tell her sometimes I think five years is a bad idea, too? Tell her that it will be OK?  

      “You know, sweetpea, it’s already been almost HALF of a year since we left. That’s gone by pretty quick, hasn’t it?” I hoped that would work: it was the truth, it didn’t discredit her feelings, but was still optimistic...

      “AH!! I’m starting to feel a miracle!!” my daughter exclaimed. 

I was starting to feel one, too. 

Maybe we didn’t have the kind of breakthrough I thought we were having at the beginning of the conversation this morning; but, we still had one. We were able – for the first time since March – discuss home and time frames without there being some sort of mini - or maxi -  dramatic event. Progress.  

This is transitioning. The: In Process. We’re still going through it. We’re getting closer to balance...

A place where we can stand right in the middle of the two homes overseas.  We can look towards the Pacific: sigh, smile, think of all that is known and familiar and loved.  We can look where we are standing now, and know it’s OK, that we are together, and that it’s becoming familiar. 

Just like pizza seaweed.